and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
