You're so nebulous sometimes
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
They are going to name an STD after you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
