Your tits are I can't wait for
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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