Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
