I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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