No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
