you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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