they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
