How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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