Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
