So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
