When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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