i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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