So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
