did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
