Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
