New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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