you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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