chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
