im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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