so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize