i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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