NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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