The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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