Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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