i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
