there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
