Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
This is my gift to your gina
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
