the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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