i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
