he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
