You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
