playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
