I don't think brook has ever known best
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
