SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
