Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
