They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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