Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
