Will you blow on my dice?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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