i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
