I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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