Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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