After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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