I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
