He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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