I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
