i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
