quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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