butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
