Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
